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- Here's to our wives and sweethearts - may they never meet.
- John Bunny
- I don't want prizes. I turned down the National Institute of Arts and Letters when I was elected to it in 1976 on the grounds that I already belonged to the Diner's Club.
- Gore Vidal (1925 - )
- A priest asked: What is Fate, Master?
And he answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build byways from City to City upon which carts and coaches pass, and alongside which inns have come to be built to stave off Hunger, Thirst and Weariness. And that is Fate? said the priest. Fate ... I thought you said Freight, responded the Master. That's all right, said the priest. I wanted to know what Freight was too. - Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"
- Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills.
- Voltaire (1694 - 1778)
- If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination.
- Thomas De Quincey, Murder Considered as One of the Fine Arts - 1827
- Oh God, how do the world and heavens confine themselves, when our hearts tremble in their own barriers!
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)
- It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it's the parts that I do understand.
- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
- Sticks and stones will break our bones, but words will break our hearts...
- Robert Fulghum (1937 - )
- Chicken Soup: An ancient miracle drug containing equal parts of aureomycin, cocaine, interferon, and TLC. The only ailment chicken soup can't cure is neurotic dependence on one's mother.
- Arthur Naiman
- The purpose of a liberal arts education is to learn that a person can like both cats *and* dogs!
- Sonjay Anand
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