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- I detest converts almost as much as I do missionaries.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse - as a man shoots himself.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- When women kiss, it always reminds me of prizefighters shaking hands.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- It is inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- Lawer: one who protects us against robbery by taking away the temptation.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- No normal man ever fell in love after thirty when the kidneys begin to disintegrate.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
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