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- Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- Wife: a former sweetheart.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- Democracy: The worship of jackals by jackasses.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- Wife: one who is sorry she did it, but would undoubtedly do it again.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- The most common of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- Don't overestimate the decency of the human race.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
- A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child.
- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
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