Quotations by Author

P. J. O'Rourke (1947 - )
US humorist & political commentator [more author details]
Showing quotations 1 to 16 of 16 total
A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
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P. J. O'Rourke
A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.
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P. J. O'Rourke
Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
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P. J. O'Rourke
Drugs have taught an entire generation of Americans the metric system.
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P. J. O'Rourke
Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.
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P. J. O'Rourke
Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
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P. J. O'Rourke
Never fight an inanimate object.
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P. J. O'Rourke
Skiing consists of wearing $3,000 worth of clothes and equipment and driving 200 miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and drink.
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P. J. O'Rourke
The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
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P. J. O'Rourke
The U.S. Constitution is less than a quarter the length of the owner's manual for a 1998 Toyota Camry, and yet it has managed to keep 300 million of the world's most unruly, passionate and energetic people safe, prosperous and free.
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P. J. O'Rourke
The weirder you are going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
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P. J. O'Rourke
Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen.
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P. J. O'Rourke
When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
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P. J. O'Rourke
With Epcot Center the Disney corporation has accomplished something I didn't think possible in today's world. They have created a land of make-believe that's worse than regular life.
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P. J. O'Rourke
There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.
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P. J. O'Rourke, Parliament of Whores (1991)
The purpose of a funeral service is to comfort the living. It is important at a funeral to display excessive grief. This will show others how kind-hearted and loving you are and their improved opinion of you will be very comforting.
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P. J. O'Rourke, Modern Manners, 1983

- 14 Quotations in other collections
- Search for P. J. O\'Rourke at Amazon.com

Showing quotations 1 to 16 of 16 total.
 
Showing quotations 1 to 16 of 16 total
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