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Matt Groening (1954 - )
US cartoonist & satirist [more author details]
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If something is too hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV.
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Matt Groening, The Simpsons
It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
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Matt Groening, The Simpsons
Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.
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Matt Groening, The Simpsons
Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.
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Matt Groening, The Simpsons
Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
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Matt Groening, The Simpsons
There's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but those were dead ends! I think this chair is the answer.
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Matt Groening, The Simpsons
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
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Matt Groening, The Simpsons
Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
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Matt Groening, The Simpsons
Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.
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Matt Groening, The Simpsons
What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?
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Matt Groening, The Simpsons
What if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.
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Matt Groening, The Simpsons
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
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Matt Groening, The Simpsons
When you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose; it's how drunk you get.
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Matt Groening, The Simpsons
You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
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Matt Groening, The Simpsons
You know, the courts may not be working any more, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else, justice will be done.
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Matt Groening, The Simpsons
You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don't work out in real life, uh, Christianity.
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Matt Groening, The Simpsons
You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.
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Matt Groening, The Simpsons
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
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Matt Groening, The Simpsons

- 4 Quotations in other collections
- Search for Matt Groening at Amazon.com

Showing quotations 21 to 38 of 38 total.
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<- Previous Page Showing quotations 21 to 38 of 38 total
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