Quotations by Author

Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)
American Humorist [more author details]
Showing quotations 1 to 20 of 22 total Next Page ->
A husband is like a fire, he goes out when unattended.
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Evan Esar
A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
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Evan Esar
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a rich widow.
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Evan Esar
America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
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Evan Esar
Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.
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Evan Esar
Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.
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Evan Esar
Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.
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Evan Esar
Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.
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Evan Esar
Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.
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Evan Esar
Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them.
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Evan Esar
Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
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Evan Esar
The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
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Evan Esar
The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.
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Evan Esar
Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.
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Evan Esar
You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.
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Evan Esar
It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.
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Evan Esar, Esar's Comic Dictionary
Many a man who falls in love with a dimple make the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
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Evan Esar, Esar's Comic Dictionary
Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.
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Evan Esar, Esar's Comic Dictionary
Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won't stand up either.
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Evan Esar, Esar's Comic Dictionary
Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.
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Evan Esar, Esar's Comic Dictionary
Showing quotations 1 to 20 of 22 total.
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Showing quotations 1 to 20 of 22 total Next Page ->
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