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- It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.
- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995), Esar's Comic Dictionary
- Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once.
- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995), Esar's Comic Dictionary
- Many a man who falls in love with a dimple make the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995), Esar's Comic Dictionary
- Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995), Esar's Comic Dictionary
- Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.
- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995), Esar's Comic Dictionary
- The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dictionary.
- Dave Kellett, Sheldon, 02-01-09
- The first time I ever read the dictionary I thought it was a poem about everything.
- Steven Wright (1955 - ), stand-up
- The only place where success comes before work is a dictionary.
- Vidal Sassoon
- Quotation ... A writer expresses himself in words that have been used before because they give his meaning better than he can give it himself, or because they are beautiful or witty, or because he expects them to touch a cord of association in his reader, or because he wishes to show that he is learned and well read. Quotations due to the last motive are invariably ill-advised; the discerning reader detects it and is contemptuous; the undiscerning is perhaps impressed, but even then is at the same time repelled, pretentious quotations being the surest road to tedium.
- Henry W. Fowler (1858 - 1933), A Dictionary of Modern English Usage (1926)
- The only place where democracy comes before work is in the dictionary.
- Ralph Nader (1934 - ), 2000 NAACP Address
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