It would be more correct to simply say that Carnegie merely quoted a proverb on page 112 of his "How to Win Friends and Influence People."
“Why prove to a man he is wrong? Is that going to make him like you? Why not let him save his face? He didn’t ask for your opinion. He didn’t want it. Why argue with him? Always avoid the acute angle.
During my youth, I had argued with my brother about everything under the Milky Way. When I went to college, I studied logic and argumentation, and went in for debating contests. Talk about being from Missouri, I was born there. I had to be shown. Later, I taught debating and argumentation in New York; and once, I am ashamed to admit, I planned to write a book on the subject …
… Since then, I have listened to, criticize, engaged in, and watched the effects of thousands of arguments. As a result of it all, I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument – and that is to avoid it. Avoid it as you would avoid rattlesnakes and earthquakes.
Nine times out of ten, an argument ends with each of the contestants being more firmly convinced than ever that he is absolutely right …
… You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. Why? Well, suppose you triumph over the other man and shoot his argument full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis. Then what? You will feel fine. But what about him? You will have made him feel inferior. You have hurt his pride. He will resent your triumph. And – …
… “A man convinced against his will
Is of the same opinion still.”
. . . Real salesmanship isn’t argument. It isn’t anything even remotely like argument. The human mind isn’t changed that way.”
~ Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People, p. 112.www.fas.nus.edu.sg/philo/PH1101EGEM1004/ppt/howto2.ppt
It is attributed to Robert Burton, Anatomy of Melancholy (1621) --Democritus to the Reader (p. 35) athttp://www.worldofquotes.com/author/Robert-Burton/2/
But I had trouble finding it (and finally gave up) in an etext of it at
"let us give God thanks, that no man is compelled to live against his will"http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/0/8/0/10800/10800.txt
He that complies against his will,
Is of his own opinion still,
Which he may adhere to, yet disown,
For reasons to himself best known.
~ Samuel Butler, Hudibras (pt. III, canto III, l. 547) [written between 1660 and 1680]http://www.worldofquotes.com/topic/Will/1/
I will explain to you, I replied. A resolution may go out of a man's mind either with his will or against his will; with his will when he gets rid of a falsehood and learns better, against his will whenever he is deprived of a truth.
~ Plato, The Republichttp://www.molloy.edu/academic/philosop ... 3b_txt.htm
Herbert W. Armstrong often said, "People want to be right, but don't want to do right." He also quoted a proverb from Benjamin Franklin's Poor Richard's Almanac
: "A person convinced against his will is of the same opinion still."http://cgg.org/index.cfm/page/literatur ... ARTB/k/254
This website attributes the saying to Lawrence J. Peter
But this webpage gives his quote as being slightly different:
“A man convinced against his will is not convinced.”
Attributed to Lincoln
Attributed to Twain