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PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2010 2:40 pm 
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Tommy GS wrote:
"Every decision is the right one at the time."

I disagree, not every decision. Some people make the wrong or bad decision. That's the point....


The at the time is the really relevant point

I suspect that even if people knowingly make say a decision to deliberately lie or cheat etc, that they have convinced themselves that it is the best thing to do. - at that time.

But Tommy, my comments on your two examples are

Would you consider that you being slack in High School may not have actually been a decision as such, just getting lazy and fed up and distracted by other things until it slid nearly out of control and then you got to the point when you actually had to make the decision to do something about it?

The friend driving had to make a split second decision and although it had seemed to be the right one he chose the wrong one and then even faster had to decide to reverse that decision and go the other way. I still believe he was choosing what seemed right at each time.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 3:49 pm 
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Yes, I understand perfectly. I can easily justify the fact that I ordered a crappy meal based on the fact that I had never tried it before, or that it sounded good at the time.

1. For me, personally, I knew that it was waste and I knew I was making all of the wrong decisions. There was no peace. I ignored it because it was easier to do nothing.

2. I cannot speak for my friend, although, I don't think it's difficult to recognize before, during, and after his decision was made that it's dumb to turn left from a right hand lane on a busy road.

In any case, I still posit that people do things with undesirable consequences for the sake of the desired immediate consequence. A good example might be getting drunk when you know you're gonna be hungover at work the next day.

These are small-time examples that go in and out of most peoples' lives so I suspect that when this thread was introduced, Libra wasn't referring to bad driving skills and fun parties. ;)


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 4:31 pm 
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Quote:
In any case, I still posit that people do things with undesirable consequences for the sake of the desired immediate consequence


Isn't this what DSW and Gumtree are both attempting to say? The immediate circumstance dictates what is considered to be the "right thing to do" at that moment in time.. The consequences may or may not be desirable, but it seemed to be the right decision at that moment in time.

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Collective fear stimulates herd instinct, and tends to produce ferocity toward those who are not regarded as members of the herd.
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 6:56 pm 
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Let us not confuse a decision and it's consequence with avoiding a decision and it's consequence.

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السلام عليكم


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 12:19 pm 
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Regrets can only be a good thing if we get a 2nd chance to prove ourselves. So we can utilise that experience and redeem our past mistakes, showing that we have indeed learned and become stronger.

It can make us realise we're weak. And with that knowledge, we try to make ourselves stronger, endeavouring in creating our own 2nd chance. But only if we have the necessary morals. It is a good sign of ones morals when it comes to regret.

I do believe it shapes us in who we become eventually, but regret is there to teach us a lesson, it has no use unless given that 2nd chance. People will not accept your advice unless they experience it first hand, and you never know if you will get a 2nd chance.

But if that 2nd chance is to never arrive than it is possible to regret for your lifes duration. Even if you go out and do all you possibly can, you are still denied that 2nd chance.

That is why you see old people, alot of them talk about regret as much as they have loved their life, as they try to pass on their experiences as a forewarning.

Which is often the case for alot of people, so don't judge someone when they regret. Feel empathy, because they have not yet received a 2nd chance, because regret is not always about redeeming oneself, sometimes it is for the sake of others, especially in regards to forgiveness.

Regret does have a positive side though, it reminds us of what we believe to be right or wrong, so don't just obnoxiously assume that theres a time and place for everything. That life simply just goes on. That it just wasn't the right decision at the right time or it was the right decision at the wrong time. It is a lesson, in which we choose to remind ourselves upon what we value as much as our personal endeavour for that 2nd chance.

What we hold important to our hearts and the decisions we've made in the past, we incessantly remind ourselves of, therefore regret.

But alot of people dont appreciate regret for what it is, and just move on and act as if nothing has ever happened to themselves personally. Because life does go on, and "ignorance is bliss". And we as humans are afraid of the unknown. "Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy."

When i speak of 2nd chances, i speak of it symbolically, it can be anything and apply to anyone. Since we can regret almost anything and everything. But the things that make us truly regret, definately show you what your morals are, righteous or not. Regret is a beautiful sadness..

Once again, i must reiterate. If someone does truly regret and it depends upon you to give them that 2nd chance, empathise with them and take that risk. Not everything is as it seems at one moment in time. Don't act as if time is valuable to you, time is objective and treats us all the same. It doesnt care whether we regret or not. Only the person who is regretting cares and you must be the best human you can be within the limited time were given, and that is to be compassionate. Most mistake it for weakness. But genuine chivalrous and righteous people appreciate it for strength.

Sorry for the long post, I feel like im rambling on and on what people already know, but just had to get it out there.

Cheers to anyone who gets this message, and apologies to anyone who misinterprets it.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 12:50 am 
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Hi Zechin, welcome to the discussion, always good to have another Aussie joining in.

Don't think any of us were condemning regret as a bad thing, only that it is not healthy to allow it to take over and shadow your life. You made me realise that so far I had only been thinking in terms of regret for things done, but never considered regret for what was NOT done.

This is certainly just as important and maybe there is an opportunity for your 2nd chances - if you can still actually do whatever it is you regret you had not done before.

Quote:
That is why you see old people, alot of them talk about regret as much as they have loved their life, as they try to pass on their experiences as a forewarning.


That is so very true and seldom recognised. Many of them will regret the lack of various opportunities in times past, through no fault of anyone, just the way things were. Then they will want to encourage younger people to make the very best and most of what is available to them now.

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The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
e e cummings (1894 - 1962)


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 14, 2010 5:31 am 
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I think it's healthy.


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