Quotations and Literature Forum

Was it ever relevant or necessary?
Is it still relevant or necessary?
Is it antiquated?

I would say yes it was relevant and necessary. I would say it still is relevant and necessary. Unfortunately, it is becoming a joke and the foundational structure of a family is dissipating.

Thoughts on marriage?

My lover and I lived together for years seeing no rational reason to get a piece of paper. We finally did get married for legal reasons only. I wanted him to inherit everything that I own should I die before he does, and vice versa. Thing is, when we got married, it was surprisingly emotional and beautiful for us.

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Collective fear stimulates herd instinct, and tends to produce ferocity toward those who are not regarded as members of the herd.
~Bertrand Russell

Marriage is about commitment. To not marry is to leave an easy escape route. In my opinion.

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السلام عليكم

Once it was necessary for survival, stemming from male hunter gatherers supporting female child bearers and early civilisations needing to enforce some kind of social responsibility rules.

Then it inevitably got mixed up with various religions in various different forms of marriage and became to some extent enforceable. Their were no legal rights for women who were not in a marriage, and very few for married women who were mostly dependent on their husbands for everything.

Nowadays in most of the Western world none of this is relevant so couples can choose.

Personal choice again - and the commitment is entirely dependent on the couple, with or without the ceremony and piece of paper.

I don't think marriage will disappear in the future, may be more civil ones, but I also firmly believe there will be far more fully committed couples with happy balanced families who will never need to go down the marriage path and that society will accept both states as normal.

Society is gradually getting less judgmental and more tolerant, I can see it has happened and Tommy , in your lifetime I hope you will see these attitudes increase.

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The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
e e cummings (1894 - 1962)

Great topic!

Let me display from two points of view, please:

First: From our societies' point of view.
Second: From my own point of view and personal experiences.

First: Eastern societies -from where I belong- see marriage is a strong bond; a vital seed upon which an entire community is formed. Our laws, cutoms, traditions and habits stipulated that for a couple who want to be united ... must be with regards to certain rituals. Some stuff could be regarded as optional but others should be categorized as a must.

The very must thing that if without a marriage should be regarded as null and void in our society is that it should be legalized in the form of papers and written commitments between the couple. They regard that through this way its a guarantee; if - God forbids - happen any later dispute between the married couple leading to divorce ... everyone could easily go to the court and legal procedures to take place efficiently and easily ... rather than just being married without papers and any legal references or to lose any of their rights.

Second: From my own humble point of view and depending on surrounding experiences ... 'Papers' became of less importance nowadays ... those who would want to escape their responsibilities, will find mean ways to do, I have always seen that real love and true care are the real adorable ties between people generally and then the couple specifically.

So its not the question of the method any more as it is the question of your real intention; your need to build a strong family granting it all your love, care and devotion (mutually speaking)... to grow with your significant other until aging ... not expecting that all your days will run smooth but its always the test of a true solid relationship over time.


Libra.

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Being a lady is an attitude.

My own personal thought on this issue.

No, it's certainly not antiquated, nor more than likely will it ever be. The soul longs for assistance and comfort along it's journey through life, and permanant companionship such as marriage is an answer to this.

A huge arguement against this is the startling rate of divorces. These are simply mistaken marriages, mismatched souls, or people that are not, and may not ever be ready for a partner. Some souls simply do not seek the guidance of a companion on its journey.

I personally believe in marriage, with my spouse and I very happy after 4 years, and am hoping for many years. She is a piece of me, and helps to complete me. Others will have different opinions of course, but in general, I do not believe that marriage will ever be antiquated.

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"The sun rises every day. What is to love? Lock the sun in a box. Force the sun to overcome adversity in order to rise. THEN, we will cheer! I often admire a beautiful sunrise, but I will never consider the sun a champion for having risen."
Garth Stein