Quotations and Literature Forum

An incorrigible offender in court was told by the judge.

Judge: You again!!?? This is the tenth time that you stand charged in my court!


Accused: Your Honor.. it is not my fault if you have not been promoted since then.

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Life is a lesson. Learn from it.

Haha ...




Libra.

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Being a lady is an attitude.

I crashed to car this morning, slammed into the back of the car in front. The bloke jumped out, and he was a dwarf. He said "I'm not Happy", I said, "so which one are you."

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السلام عليكم

Son: Dad, do you know the distinction between confidence and confidential?

Dad: You are my son, i am confident of that.. And your friend, Kenny, is also my son and that is confidential.

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Life is a lesson. Learn from it.

A guy is driving in a car with a blonde. He asked her if his blinker is
working. She sticks her head out the window and says "yes, no, yes, no,
yes, no.






Libra.

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Being a lady is an attitude.

heheh nice one libra.


Girl: my bf cheated on me, i feel so bad.
Boy: me too, my gf left me for another man.
Girl: let's take revenge by making love.
Boy: Ok
So off they went to a motel and made love for one , two, three. four, five... eighth.. ten times again and again , for hours while swearing at their ex partners.
After another round

Girl: let's take revenge again..
Boy: Let's forgive them now please...

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Life is a lesson. Learn from it.

Nazi forces get three people as prisoner, one English, one French and one Hebrew. Hitler comes and says that he'll forgive them if they give correct answers to his questions. To the English, he asks: "When did the Titanic sink?" He responds "1912" and Hitler releases him. French comes and Hitler asks "How many people died in it?" he replies "1050" and Hitler allows him to leave unhurt. and when it comes to the Hebrew, Hitler asks"what were their names?"

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"God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
Voltaire

Hope this doesn't get me banned from QP

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAJAoezQp6c

and hope it makes you all laugh.

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The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
e e cummings (1894 - 1962)

SON: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
MOM: Well, you have done the right thing son !.
SON: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

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Life is a lesson. Learn from it.

"No-one ever campaigns for equal numbers of women in prison. It's always fun stuff, like pay. Feminism needs to talk "glass bars" eventually."

Martin Amis (Twitter)

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The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
e e cummings (1894 - 1962)

So they only come in medium sizes?

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السلام عليكم

Your sense of curiosity really makes me smile GT.

Try this for another good laugh.


[/img]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bI7AUgp5fPI

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Life is a lesson. Learn from it.

Hang on there, Arrow, I don't go searching youtube for cheeky vids! Just passing on one I was sent!!!

I felt so sorry for the poor chap above but he reacted well!

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The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
e e cummings (1894 - 1962)

During an interview, journalist asks the same question to all participants from different nations of the world. "Why do men kiss the hand of women?"

French man's answer:

"Because of my respect to women, they allow us to live this life in harmony..."

German answer:

"Because women are Holy creatures, human race endures the years thanks to them."

And the Turkish:

"I must begin from somewhere..."

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"God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
Voltaire

Tony, only men will agree that this Turkish style is actually a fact and i concur.

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Life is a lesson. Learn from it.