Quotations and Literature Forum

It is currently Fri Jul 25, 2014 8:12 pm

All times are UTC - 7 hours




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 60 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next
Author Message
PostPosted: Mon May 31, 2010 1:24 am 
Offline
QuoteMaster
QuoteMaster

Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2006 6:52 pm
Posts: 1744
Location: SEA
An incorrigible offender in court was told by the judge.

Judge: You again!!?? This is the tenth time that you stand charged in my court!


Accused: Your Honor.. it is not my fault if you have not been promoted since then. :mrgreen:

_________________
Life is a lesson. Learn from it.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 31, 2010 2:09 am 
Offline
QuoteMaster
QuoteMaster

Joined: Tue Aug 08, 2006 10:40 am
Posts: 4043
Location: Land of the Pyramids
Haha ...




Libra.

_________________
Being a lady is an attitude.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 4:29 pm 
Offline
QuoteMaster
QuoteMaster

Joined: Fri Apr 14, 2006 4:16 am
Posts: 3140
Location: Melbourne, Australia
I crashed to car this morning, slammed into the back of the car in front. The bloke jumped out, and he was a dwarf. He said "I'm not Happy", I said, "so which one are you."

_________________
السلام عليكم


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 4:37 pm 
Offline
QuoteMaster
QuoteMaster

Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2006 6:52 pm
Posts: 1744
Location: SEA
8)



Son: Dad, do you know the distinction between confidence and confidential?

Dad: You are my son, i am confident of that.. And your friend, Kenny, is also my son and that is confidential.

_________________
Life is a lesson. Learn from it.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 02, 2010 4:57 am 
Offline
QuoteMaster
QuoteMaster

Joined: Tue Aug 08, 2006 10:40 am
Posts: 4043
Location: Land of the Pyramids
A guy is driving in a car with a blonde. He asked her if his blinker is
working. She sticks her head out the window and says "yes, no, yes, no,
yes, no.


:-P



Libra.

_________________
Being a lady is an attitude.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 02, 2010 5:13 pm 
Offline
QuoteMaster
QuoteMaster

Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2006 6:52 pm
Posts: 1744
Location: SEA
heheh nice one libra.


Girl: my bf cheated on me, i feel so bad.
Boy: me too, my gf left me for another man.
Girl: let's take revenge by making love.
Boy: Ok
So off they went to a motel and made love for one , two, three. four, five... eighth.. ten times again and again , for hours while swearing at their ex partners.
After another round

Girl: let's take revenge again..
Boy: Let's forgive them now please...

_________________
Life is a lesson. Learn from it.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 6:47 am 
Offline
DedeKorkut
DedeKorkut

Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2006 3:36 am
Posts: 831
Location: Turan
Nazi forces get three people as prisoner, one English, one French and one Hebrew. Hitler comes and says that he'll forgive them if they give correct answers to his questions. To the English, he asks: "When did the Titanic sink?" He responds "1912" and Hitler releases him. French comes and Hitler asks "How many people died in it?" he replies "1050" and Hitler allows him to leave unhurt. and when it comes to the Hebrew, Hitler asks"what were their names?"

_________________
"God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
Voltaire


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 8:08 pm 
Offline
QuoteMaster
QuoteMaster

Joined: Wed Nov 28, 2007 8:25 pm
Posts: 1217
Location: Australia
Hope this doesn't get me banned from QP

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAJAoezQp6c

and :D hope it makes you all laugh.

_________________
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
e e cummings (1894 - 1962)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 9:39 pm 
Offline
QuoteMaster
QuoteMaster

Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2006 6:52 pm
Posts: 1744
Location: SEA
SON: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
MOM: Well, you have done the right thing son !.
SON: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

_________________
Life is a lesson. Learn from it.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jun 11, 2010 10:57 pm 
Offline
QuoteMaster
QuoteMaster

Joined: Wed Nov 28, 2007 8:25 pm
Posts: 1217
Location: Australia
"No-one ever campaigns for equal numbers of women in prison. It's always fun stuff, like pay. Feminism needs to talk "glass bars" eventually."

Martin Amis (Twitter)

_________________
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
e e cummings (1894 - 1962)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 5:52 am 
Offline
QuoteMaster
QuoteMaster

Joined: Fri Apr 14, 2006 4:16 am
Posts: 3140
Location: Melbourne, Australia
gumtree wrote:
Hope this doesn't get me banned from QP

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAJAoezQp6c

and :D hope it makes you all laugh.

So they only come in medium sizes?

_________________
السلام عليكم


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 12:19 am 
Offline
QuoteMaster
QuoteMaster

Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2006 6:52 pm
Posts: 1744
Location: SEA
Your sense of curiosity really makes me smile GT.

Try this for another good laugh.


[/img]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bI7AUgp5fPI

_________________
Life is a lesson. Learn from it.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 1:51 am 
Offline
QuoteMaster
QuoteMaster

Joined: Wed Nov 28, 2007 8:25 pm
Posts: 1217
Location: Australia
Hang on there, Arrow, I don't go searching youtube for cheeky vids! :roll: Just passing on one I was sent!!! :lol:

I felt so sorry for the poor chap above but he reacted well!

_________________
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
e e cummings (1894 - 1962)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 6:45 am 
Offline
DedeKorkut
DedeKorkut

Joined: Wed Aug 30, 2006 3:36 am
Posts: 831
Location: Turan
During an interview, journalist asks the same question to all participants from different nations of the world. "Why do men kiss the hand of women?"

French man's answer:

"Because of my respect to women, they allow us to live this life in harmony..."

German answer:

"Because women are Holy creatures, human race endures the years thanks to them."

And the Turkish:

"I must begin from somewhere..."

_________________
"God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
Voltaire


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2010 7:57 pm 
Offline
QuoteMaster
QuoteMaster

Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2006 6:52 pm
Posts: 1744
Location: SEA
Tony, only men will agree that this Turkish style is actually a fact and i concur. :)

_________________
Life is a lesson. Learn from it.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 60 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next

All times are UTC - 7 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: DyncDocaovala, Google [Bot] and 9 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group