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PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2005 4:29 am 
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I think we're both guilty Raven, Men and Women. I know guys that are sorry saps when it comes to relationships. And I know girls that are too.

Oh, I agree with you Sihvyl. I was not just blaming the one gender for it, should have made that clear. Truckernun was just talking about men at the time.

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Personally I blame it on media and lifestyle in general just plain bombarding us with things involving love.

Yes, the media has inmplanted in our minds the ideal way to be, what you should look like if you want a date or a good man. Blah Blah Blah, you get what I'm talking about. What happened to the fairy tales we would dream up in our head? I know I held onto that. I don't watch much TV, and I hate the media, so it doesn't effect me that much, at least I don't think so.

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Relationships have gone from the feeling of love and the want of a companion, to all kinds of various requirements that we think are essential.

The problem, is that there should be no expectations nor requirements when it comes to "love". Love should be given unconditionally, if it is not, it is not love.

Raven :wink:

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2005 4:37 am 
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There shouldn't be expectations in love. But there is. And if I don't have any... he does.

Maybe not all men....
Maybe just teenage guys.
I have pretty much had it with teenage guys and their ****.
No offense to teenage guys out there.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 15, 2005 7:59 am 
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trucker, im sorry to hear what happened to both you and your friend. I had a similar situation abotu six months ago.

As for love, yes i think i dont think there should be any expectations in love. That being said however, i do believe that has to be at least a little bit of expectaions in a relationship. One person loving the other unconditionaly cannot make a relationship if the other does not love back. This was something i learned only just recently, and its a very hard lesson to accept.

Im sorry that you feel this way about teenage guys (im 18 ) there are good ones out there :D .

You were questioning why before and I dunno if it will help but heres something that helped me when i was in doubt as well.

What if I knew why?
What if I knew when?
Would I even try?
Where would I be then?

What if I could see the pain
Before it came to pass?
Could I even I avoid that bane
Or with the knowledge still fail to surpass?

What if my actions to avoid
Would not lead to happiness
But did in fact did destroy
Instead of erasing stress?

For we do not have to know
What will happen or when
In order for us to go
And live our lives as men

For life is not based on what occurs
But how we deal with it
And this lesson transfers
To everything unless we quit


**edit
my 18 turned into a 1 8)


Last edited by arquilus on Thu Sep 15, 2005 10:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 15, 2005 5:14 pm 
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That little poem was really nice. Who wrote it?

Maybe you are a great teenage guy. Maybe the ones that are interested in me are only the bad ones.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 15, 2005 7:38 pm 
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I went through a few bad ones, but I found a good guy, and you will too. In time darlin, don't worry about it. Take a break from guys for awhile before you jump into another relationship. Right now, you don't need to rebound. That will only hurt the other person and yourself.

Raven

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 15, 2005 10:17 pm 
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actualy i wrote the poem around the same time as my relationship ending, and ive been using it ever since.

I agree with Raven about takin some time off i almost jumped into a relationship which i know would have ended badly and im very thankful i didnt.

I hope that talking about it is helping :) .



~arq


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 15, 2005 10:21 pm 
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I was just looking at my longer post and i didnt mean to denote that i was a great guy (i prefer for people to make thier own judgements about me ). I only meant to say that i was 18. Turns out that an 18 next to a ) makes a 1 8) .

~arq


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 4:14 am 
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I was just looking at my longer post and i didnt mean to denote that i was a great guy (i prefer for people to make thier own judgements about me ). I only meant to say that i was 18. Turns out that an 18 next to a ) makes a 1 Cool .


Don't worry about it, on the Quotations Page you'll find that you will get a lot of compliments. We are just all together rather friendly people. Looking to make light out of things.

Raven

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 5:06 am 
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Wow you wrote it? Its really good.

I don't plan on jumping into a relationship. I can't.
I don't know for sure if I will ever be able to be in one like that again.

I am playing with the idea of joining the air force and never marrying.
I think that would be great.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2005 1:16 am 
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truckernun,
i don't presumme to know or understand what you are going through. but i've gone through my fair share of bad relationships and relationships hat ended badly and some things i've learned seem to relate so i thought i'd share part of it. at least the ideas behind it.
first, putting feeling aside will be of no use. it doesn't fix things, and it just makes the pain worse. a painfully numb if you will. if you build a wall and block all feelings you do just that. true you block sadness, disappointment, and pain but also happiness, joy, and love.
second, the pain doesn't go away (i know everyone hates me for saying this, but if someone had told me this i would have handled many things much better). it doesn't. and it doesn't get any better, some days it just gets worse. so what do you do? you adjust, you deal, you go on with life, and make your life something, and you go on loving and feeling and living. and the pain doesn't go away, and it doesn't lessen, but you adjust and you deal and it becomes part of the past and part of your life. and you adjust your life to help ease the pain on a day to day basis and then you go with that.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2005 3:14 am 
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i read somewhere this..
"i f--- the grief of that kind of love" !!! :lol: :lol: so creative..


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2005 3:46 pm 
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Well I have not posted anything on this thread but have been closely following it... I do not beleive in Love or relationships at all... I only beleive in marriage and Love after marriage... We are so emotionally weak that we need to get into a relationship and in return we get hurt.. The People in their Teens are not at all serious in forming relationships.. but Lust or desire.. this comes with age and maturity.. Any relationship in younger age or without any sole reason is waste of time and money.. Spend it on yourself and people who love you (your parents), No matter how bad they could be to you, in their hearts they love you very much.. this is human nature.. there might be exceptions.. To end it.. Relationships need maturity and a thinking head which has a logic switch that is switched "ON" and not "OFF"..

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 17, 2005 10:19 pm 
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The People in their Teens are not at all serious in forming relationships

i don't know, ishrat. i've seen some teen couples that if it wasn't love between them, love is something completely different then what we all believe it is. anyone, of any age, is capable of love, real love. you may not believe it to be, but its there none the less. no-one has the right to tell someone how they do or don't feel about someone, whether they love someone or not. don't get me wrong, i'm sure lots of teen relationships are just lust but so are a lot of afult relationships. age is not what makes love love, feelings are.

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 2:15 am 
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Age brings in that maturity and responsibilty in a peron... It enables a person to think and act accordingly and most of the decisions are well thought off... while as a teenager they are all huff-buff ones... I myself have seen soo many teenager relationships... with their girlfreinds are are so into them and nothing else.. but I also saw the fact they used to hit on other's and when not around carved their way.. Love should not be made a priorty in one's life its just a mere commodity.

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 5:23 am 
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ishrat
Lots of teen love is just lust. but not mine. You can't tell me I didn't love him... that I just lusted after him. I have never in all my life loved someone like him. I would have died infinite times for him. I would have killed for him. I would have given anything for him. It was not lust. If it was all physical, I could just have said "yes" to ANY of the guys who have asked me out since. But I haven't. Because I LOVE (yes really truely love) him.

animalaia-
Thank you so much. Everyone always says "oh the pain will go away" and I know it won't. There will always be a part of me that hurts. There will always be a part of me that snaps when I see him look at another girl the way he used to look at me.
But I don't understand how you can't put feeling aside. If I tried to deal with my pain, I would drown. The only way I know how to get through this is to block everything- pain, sadness, confusion, love, happiness, excitement. Everything.

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