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PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 3:50 pm 
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vh06CoC7th8

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 6:57 am 
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that's fun.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 9:14 pm 
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52 things you would love to say out loud at work


1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my
way.

6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. Ahhhh. I see the f ***-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a sh*t.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of
view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!!!!

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be?

24. Do I look like a f****** people person to you?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.

31. Oh I get it. Like humour, but different.........

32. An office is just a mental institute without the padded walls.

33. Can I swap this job for what's behind door .........1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.!!!

35. Nice perfume (or aftershave). Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money.

39. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.

40. Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

41. Aren't you just a black hole of need?

42. I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?
43. Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?

44. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.

45. If you have something to say raise your hand.........then place it over
your mouth.

46. I'm too busy, can I ignore you some other time?

47. Don't let your mind wander, its too small to be let out on its own.

48. Have a nice day, somewhere else.

49. You're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away.

50. You are as pretty as a picture, I'd really like to hang you.

51. Don't believe everything you think.

52. Do you hear that? That's the sound of no-one caring.


No 22 is definitely my favourite :evil:

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The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
e e cummings (1894 - 1962)


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 2:09 am 
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Hello GT, i'd go for No. 50 :)

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 26, 2009 12:39 am 
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Hi Arrow - even though you cant say them, just thinking some of them could help lighten a bad day!!

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The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
e e cummings (1894 - 1962)


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 5:12 pm 
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Kramer at his best. Can YOU do this??


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2009 2:01 pm 
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Location: Melbourne, Australia
A manufacturing company hired a new manager and on his first day he decided that he had to show the employees that he was tough and wouldn't tolerate slackers.

He walked into the workshop and saw a young man leaning against the wall, doing nothing, while all the other employees were busily working.

"Everybody stop what you're doing and look over here!" shouted the manager.

The workshop fell silent as he walked over to the young man and said "how much do you get paid?"

The young man was a bit startled, but said "$400 a week".

"Okay" said the manager, taking a bundle of cash out of his pocket. "Here's $1600. That's four weeks pay. Now get out of here, you're done!"

When the young man had left, the manager turned to the other workers and said "I will not tolerate laziness. Anyone who slackens off will get the same treatment as that guy. By the way, what was he supposed to be doing?"

One of the workers smiled and said: "Waiting for the $20 we owe him. He's the pizza delivery guy from Dominos."
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 19, 2009 3:45 am 
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An old Hippy went into a Tackle Store to buy a fishing rod and reel for Will (her grandson’s birthday.)
She doesn’t know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

The salesman is standing there, wearing dark glasses. She says, Excuse me. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?'

He says, 'Madam, I'm completely blind; but, if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes.'

She doesn’t believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, 'That's a two metre Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco reel and 5-kg test line. It's a good all around combination, and it's on sale this Week for $44.'

She says, 'It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I’ll take it!' As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. 'Oh, that sounds like a Visa card, says the salesman. As the old Hippy bends down to pick up the card, she accidentally passes wind. At first she is really embarrassed but then realizes there is no way the blind salesman could tell it was she who had passed wind.

The salesman rings up the sale and says,’ That’ll be $58.50 please.' The old Hippy is totally confused by this and asks, ‘Didn’t you tell me it was on sale for $44? How did you get to $58.50?' ‘The Duck Caller is $11 and the Fish Bait is $3.50.'"

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 9:06 am 
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ill like to add a joke.. maybe you dont find it funny but anyways ill tell it.
this boy walks up to his father with his grades....the boy its all groomy and all down.... the father says ok gimme the grades boy.and they better be good!! the boy say okok but first i need to tell you smt.. i got two news ,one its a good new and the other its a bad one..which one do you want to hear first?? the father replys:well ill hear the good one first.. the boy says:ok the good news its that i got a 100 on all my subjects.. the father saays: WHY SON THATS GREAT!! IM SO HAPPY ok now that im happy you can tell me the bad one and i wont get that mad about it...the boy says: ok dad well the bad news its that well uhm IM LYING ABOUT IT
:P I GUESS its more funny whe its told thatn writeen


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 9:14 am 
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ok i got a better one i guess ok here it goes.
this guy it walking around the zoo watching the animals, he goes to this keeper and says: excuse me, can you tell me where the monkey cage is??
the keeper looks up at the guy strangely,and a bit anoyed and says:dude if you dont know how to get back why did you even scape???


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 1:38 pm 
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:lol:
I should use the first one on my parents.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 2:31 pm 
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yeah its a nice joke....... there many more i got another short one
this guy was so fast so fast that while going around a lamp post he manage to nail himself twice....i guess its a weird joke


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 3:15 pm 
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i have a challenge for you guys. The challenge its to know from what book i get this text.
some of them had an accent so thick you could float rocks on it
ill give a clue a policeman says it,and he lives on a city where being an assasin its synonym for style and its an honor to be kill by them


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 1:45 pm 
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first person : is it a sunday or a monday today...
second person : i m new in this town...


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 08, 2009 2:43 pm 
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curro wrote:
i have a challenge for you guys. The challenge its to know from what book i get this text.
some of them had an accent so thick you could float rocks on it
ill give a clue a policeman says it,and he lives on a city where being an assasin its synonym for style and its an honor to be kill by them


Sounds like Sam Vimes to me, curro - but there are too many books it could have been in :) You'll have to tell us which one.

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The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
e e cummings (1894 - 1962)


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