Quotations and Literature Forum

i was studying about Turkish invasion of Cyprus (Peacemaking Operation it's called) and this event really made me happy. If this is not a joke by the guy who writes military recordings, it's really funny (:

According to the source i read, during war, our communication was weak due to embargo. Our obsolote wireless communications were frequently showing errors. And, changed military paroles somtimes couldn't reach aviators and warship captains.

This is the dialoque between an aviator who was ordered to sink any ship who can't confirm the parole (greek warships used to carry Turkish banners in order to flee unharmed) and a warship captain.

Pilot: This is aircraft xxx, please confirm the parole.

Captain: Ok, this is Turkish Ship xxx, parole is XXX

Pilot: It was the former parole, please confirm the recent one

Captain: Damn it, i have no idea

Pilot: Negative, i will sink your ship if you don't confirm in five minutes

Captain: What! Man, this is a Turkish ship, are you mad?

Pilot: Sir, i'm ordered to do so. Headquarters suspect that greek ships bearing Turkish flags

Captain: F.ck your headquarters, f.ck you too, then sink this f.cking ship and send your f.cking fellows into the hell.

Pilot: .... wait, i'll ask the headquarters

Pilot: Headquarter xxx, this is aircraft xxx, there's one ship which can't confirm the parole but they are probably Turkish.

Headquarters: aircraft xxx, how can you be sure about it?

Pilot: Commander, they're speaking Turkish, there's a guy on the board smoking, there's someone carrying Turkish tea glasses to the staff. And the captain said : "F.ck your headquarters, f.ck you, then sink this f.cking ship and send your f.cking fellows into the hell."

Headquarters: Roger, leave them alone.

Pilot. Affirmative, sir!

(my bad translation skills, but i hope you got the point (: )

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"God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
Voltaire

Why the hell was the pilot speaking in English or I got it wrong?

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Ishrat Noor Khan

i translated it, ishrat

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"God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
Voltaire

THE AUSSIE VERSION OF CREATION

In the beginning God created day and night. He created day for footy matches, going to the beach.....

And BBQ's......

He created night for going prawning,
sleeping and BBQ's, and God saw that it was good.

On the Second Day, God created water....for surfing, swimming, and BBQ's on the beach,
and God saw that it was good.

On the Third Day God created the Earth to bring forth plants to provide malt and yeast for beer
and wood for BBQs, and God saw that it was good..

On the Fourth Day God created animals
and crustaceans,chops, sausages,
steak and prawns for BBQ's, and God saw that it was good.

On the Fifth day God created a Bloke to go to the footy, enjoy the beach, drink the beer and eat the meat and prawns at BBQ's, and God saw that it was good.

On the Sixth Day God saw that the Bloke was lonely and needed someone to go to the footy, surf, drink beer, eat and stand around the barbie with.

So God created Mates, and God saw that they were good Blokes, and God saw that it was good.

On the Seventh Day God looked around at the twinkling barbie fires, heard the hiss of opening beer cans and the raucous laughter of all the Blokes. He smelled the aroma of grilled chops and sizzling prawns and God Saw that it was good .. ...

Well.... Almost good.....

He saw that the Blokes were too tired to clean up and needed a rest.
So God created Sheilas to clean the house, to bear children, to wash, to cook and to clean the Barbie, and then God saw that it was not just good.....

It was better than that, it was Bloody Awesome!

IT WAS AUSTRALIA!!!!!

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The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
e e cummings (1894 - 1962)

ok i'm going to visit australia now:D but after this flood thing ends.

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"God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
Voltaire

We always promised you BBQ's Congratulations on poetry success. Also your new signature is very very funny!

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The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
e e cummings (1894 - 1962)

I'll put the kettle on.

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السلام عليكم

hehe thanks gumtree. i read that phrase in Turkish and tried to translate it into your language and seems i managed to do (:

DSW i see you're kidding about flood, man when fear of the God will settle in your heart? (:

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"God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
Voltaire

Flood, drought, it is what it is.

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السلام عليكم

too scientific.

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"God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
Voltaire

God does what god does?

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السلام عليكم

Nature responds, following its own rules ?

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The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
e e cummings (1894 - 1962)

We are the virus, weather is the immune system?

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السلام عليكم

it's all about BBQs

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"God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
Voltaire

Ah, the smell of burning grease, the hiss of opening beer cans and stubbies, the delicate crunch that only sand can give to a mystery bag.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EUpg9JLzzE

Pay careful attention at 4:07.

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السلام عليكم