I get home from my run of night and evening shifts, and 'Er Indoors' is no where in sight. Finally she gets home at near 2330hrs. Then she does IT!
Slowly she settles into a seat, she looks at me, draws a deep braeth and says " I got these for you." She pulls out a pair of Ugg boots with Manchester united logo's on them.
Immediately I yell, "Get them out of my house, oh for f#@$'s sake woman, what are you doing to me."
"What?" she says," they're Manchester and you like Manchester". "City" I scream, "City, not f#@$ing united!". She says, "Manchester is Manchester, it's all the same." "oh" says I, "Like Korea is all Korae. Nth. Sth. it's all the same."
Then I sing her a wee song, goes like this:
"Our little dog is six years old, and he's smart as any damn kid.
But when you mention the V.E.T. he damn near flips his lid.
Words like S.H.O.T. shot or W.O.R.M. worm,
These are words which make him S.Q.U.I.R.M. squirm.
His Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N.E starts today,
Because he bit the V.E.T. and then he ran away.
He caused me and my wife to have a big fight, and then, both of them bit me.
And that's why I am gonnae get a D.I.V.O.R.C.E.
She shouted "get him Rover," and he jumped over, and bit my L.E.G.
She sank her teeth in my B.U.M. and called me an effin' C.
Well I'm telling you, that was my cue, to get O.F.F.-ski
And I'm going down to the town tonight to get a new B.I.R.D.
Oh yes his Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N.E starts today.
Both my wife and my wee scabby dug will soon be hauled away.
That's why I spell out all these words, so as my dog can't hear.
Oh I must admit that dog is acting Q.U.E.R. queer.
Oh, I must admit that dog is acting Q.U.E.R. queer."