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PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 10:22 am 
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Are these sentences grammatical? And if not, could you rewrite for me or explain what wrong inside is? Please (If you can, please ignore the background and the context, just mend the grammar, could you? Please : ))



For his best, I gave him a gigantic bear doll before his outgoing journey; it would bring him with luck.
He made an excuse that why he did not show esteem to the upcoming president is because he didn’t watch his step while driving car, but we are incredulous of his utterance.
Since the law of this state does not entitle the police to disperse the audience, you cannot do it and make the bunch of flowers on their hand fall down, or you will be gotten even with.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 6:04 pm 
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For his best, I gave him a gigantic bear doll before his outgoing journey; it would bring him with luck. Poor sentence structure but correct punctuation - I'd revise it to:

Before his outgoing journey, I gave him a gigantic bear doll for his best; it would bring him luck.


He made an excuse that why he did not show esteem to the upcoming president is because he didn’t watch his step while driving car, but we are incredulous of his utterance. This sentence is so run on it ran out of tarmac Revise to:

He made an excuse. Because he didn't watch his step while driving car, he did not show esteem to the upcoming president; but, we are incredulous of his utterance.



Since the law of this state does not entitle the police to disperse the audience, you cannot do it and make the bunch of flowers on their hand fall down, or you will be gotten even with. And again, too much meaning packed into one sentence. Talk about lost in space...and it's in passive voice. Gross.

Since the law of this state does not entitle the police to disperse the audience, you cannot do it and make the bunch of flowers on their hand fall down; otherwise, they will get even.


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