Quotations and Literature Forum

SALVATION

you say you say to me think salvation

i''m bleeding u say think salvation

salvation means nothing

salvation is in the key in which i hold

the box that i hide the box that u will never find

i hold the only key i know the only place

but still in my last minutes as i die

all u say to me is think salvation

and this this is my suicide

my only hope

my last right

but still u say think salvation

i stand above the water

holding my chest but still nothing but blood

blood from the shoot from the gun that u hold in ur hand

i laugh as i fall backwards into the water

and yet u lean over the bridge and you scream salvation

wheres ur salvation now i yell as i hit the water

and once again i disapper into the night as it once was written

and once again as it was told

i've shown

for i am salvation

That is a cool poem hotrodqueen5!

_________________

Sorry, couldn't stomach that. you overused the word salvation until the point I want to slap you. Also,its hard to rake your poem seriously when you wont even take the time to type out "you" and "your." and dont use any commas although you need some.

_________________
the hollidays are here Bah Hum Bug!

I have to agree, I know that repetive using of a certain word can have dramatic effect, but maybe substitue "salvation" for something else, or reword it a bit. It will help more in the long run.

Good, just keep writing.. you would surly do better..

_________________
Ishrat Noor Khan

_________________
What is the purpose of life? The answer is perhaps the most profound, enigmatic reason - to live

welcome back Drister, you've been away a while.

_________________
Sanctuary: a small safe place in a troubling world