Read books online
at our other site:
The Literature Page
|
Quotations and Literature Forum
View unanswered posts | View active topics
|
Page 1 of 1
|
[ 3 posts ] |
|
| Author |
Message |
|
cdsg23
|
Posted: Tue Sep 05, 2006 5:03 am |
|
 |
| QuoteMaster |
 |
Joined: Mon Nov 25, 2002 4:51 pm Posts: 3071 Location: University of New Hampshire
|
|
Okay, here's another one
“The wheel”
Turning, turning, always turning
Everlasting power,
Everlasting time,
A complete circle,
Birth, life, death
Death holds us captive,
Coming after life,
And before Birth
Life sooths and comforts
Lessening death’s blow
Birth hands us to life,
Giving us to caring hands,
The wheel of time holds us captive,
And somehow I don’t really mind.
|
|
| Top |
|
 |
|
patsm
|
Posted: Tue Sep 05, 2006 7:52 am |
|
 |
| QuoteMaster |
 |
Joined: Tue May 23, 2006 8:00 am Posts: 279
|
|
' The wheel weaves as the wheel wills '
|
|
| Top |
|
 |
|
Fish Are Quick
|
Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 8:13 am |
|
 |
| QuoteMaster |
 |
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 3:23 pm Posts: 661 Location: England
|
|
Turning, turning, always turning Everlasting power, Everlasting time,
I'd suggest a full stop after 'time' here because you then go on to use the indefinite article to add a metaphor- though I suppose a semi-colon could work if you'd prefer that.
A complete circle, Birth, life, death Death holds us captive,
The juxtaposed enjambement of 'death' is a difficult without punctuation. I like the flow induced by the rhythmic commas, so I'd suggest:
'birth, life, death
holding us captive'?
Coming after life, And before Birth
This is a little bit didactic- do you see how it sounds like a statement of prose rather than a poem?
Life sooths and comforts Lessening death’s blow
Punctuation.
Birth hands us to life,
Giving us to caring hands,
The wheel of time holds us captive,
And somehow I don’t really mind.
Nice way to finish with the close rhyme of hand and mind.
_________________ "The proper study of mankind is man."
Alexander Pope
|
|
| Top |
|
 |
|
Page 1 of 1
|
[ 3 posts ] |
|
Who is online |
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests |
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum
|
|