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 Post subject: Nonsense Literature!
PostPosted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 8:12 am 
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Location: Chennai
I am a big fan of Nonsense, and I just love the way it makes no sense.

I thought we could all use this thread to post nonsense prose and verse, and gibberish.

This is a nonsense poem I wrote, and it's been selected for publication in an Anthology of Nonsense to be brought out by Puffin. However, it was selected some two years ago, and I don't think this anthology is ever coming out.

"Do you feel queasy in easy queues?
Or clam-like on lam-like seas?
Do you think Alice with lice has the Ace?
Or feel bad in an ad with bees?"

If you don't get it, you're not supposed to. It's nonsense. However, if you didn't notice it right away, look for a pattern in the lines.

_________________
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
-from Jabberwocky, by Lewis Carroll


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 8:21 pm 
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QuoteMaster
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Joined: Sun Jun 22, 2003 5:05 pm
Posts: 634
Location: Within the dark labyrinth of the mind
’The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright–
And this was odd, because it was
The middle of the night.

The moon was shining sulkily,
Because she thought the sun
Had got no business to be there
After the day was done–
“It’s very rude of him,” she said,
“To come and spoil the fun!”

The sea was wet as wet could be,
The sands were dry as dry.
You could not see a cloud, because
No cloud was in the sky:
No birds were flying over head–
There were no birds to fly.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand:
“If this were only cleared away,"
They said, “it WOULD be grand!”

“If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year,
Do you suppose,” the Walrus said,
“That they could get it clear?"
“I doubt it,” said the Carpenter,
And shed a bitter tear.

“O Oysters, come and walk with us!"
The Walrus did beseech.
“A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach:
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each.”

The eldest Oyster looked at him.
But never a word he said:
The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head–
Meaning to say he did not choose
To leave the oyster-bed.

But four young oysters hurried up,
All eager for the treat:
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat–
And this was odd, because, you know,
They hadn’t any feet.

Four other Oysters followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more–
All hopping through the frothy waves,
And scrambling to the shore.

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And all the little Oysters stood
And waited in a row.

“The time has come,” the Walrus said,
“To talk of many things:
Of shoes–and ships–and sealing-wax–
Of cabbages–and kings–
And why the sea is boiling hot–
And whether pigs have wings.”

“But wait a bit,” the Oysters cried,
“Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!"
“No hurry!” said the Carpenter.
They thanked him much for that.

“A loaf of bread,” the Walrus said,
“Is what we chiefly need:
Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed–
Now if you’re ready Oysters dear,
We can begin to feed.”

“But not on us!” the Oysters cried,
Turning a little blue,
“After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!"
“The night is fine,” the Walrus said
“Do you admire the view?

“It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!"
The Carpenter said nothing but
“Cut us another slice:
I wish you were not quite so deaf–
I’ve had to ask you twice!”

“It seems a shame,” the Walrus said,
“To play them such a trick,
After we’ve brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!"
The Carpenter said nothing but
“The butter’s spread too thick!”

“I weep for you,” the Walrus said.
“I deeply sympathize."
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size.
Holding his pocket handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.

“O Oysters,” said the Carpenter.
“You’ve had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?"
But answer came there none–
And that was scarcely odd, because
They’d eaten every one.’

From Through The Looking Glass

If anybody wants a sheep that is proof they exist
--The Little Prince

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Every man carries a circle of hell around his head like a halo. Every man, every man has to go through hell to reach his paradise.
Robert De Niro, Cape Fear


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 8:27 pm 
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Location: Chennai
Ah, the Walrus and the Carpenter. That's classic Carroll nonsense.

_________________
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
-from Jabberwocky, by Lewis Carroll


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 10:07 pm 
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Devil's Advocate
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Joined: Mon Jan 23, 2006 5:23 pm
Posts: 395
Location: Michigan
Carroll is really good for nonsense in general. One of my favorite poems ever, which could make sense if he'd just straighten out the pronouns, goes like this (I would put the title, but I don't think it has one. It's in Chapter 12, Alice's Evidence, of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, though):

They told me you had been to her,
And mentioned me to him:
She gave me a good character,
But said I could not swim.

He sent them word I had not gone
(We know it to be true):
If she should push the matter on,
What would become of you?

I gave her one, they gave him two,
You gave us three or more;
They all returned from him to you,
Though they were mine before.

If I or she should chance to be
Involved in this affair,
He trusts to you to set them free,
Exactly as we were.

My notion was that you had been
(Before she had this fit)
An obstacle that came between
Him, and ourselves, and it.

Don't let him know she liked them best,
For this must ever be
A secret, kept from all the rest,
Between yourself and me.

_________________
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. -Mark Twain


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 9:03 pm 
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QuoteMaster
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Joined: Fri Nov 21, 2003 6:27 am
Posts: 265
Location: uconn
haha anyone ever read "the jaberwocky"? what the bleep is a jub jub bird. i love that poem, nonetheless.

oh and that poem you posted, olfacto, cool trick.

-j


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 9:49 pm 
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Devil's Advocate
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Joined: Mon Jan 23, 2006 5:23 pm
Posts: 395
Location: Michigan
I actually have Jabberwocky memorized. You can see I have too much free time.

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Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. -Mark Twain


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 10:22 pm 
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QuoteMaster
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Joined: Wed Apr 05, 2006 8:44 pm
Posts: 707
Location: Canada
The Hunter
I have fought against the poodle with his gory, deadly paws;
I have faced the fearsome kitten, wild and bony,
And somehow I've evaded the enormous chomping jaws
Of the frighteningly ferocious Shetland pony.

My triumph o'er the rabbit is now sung throughout the land,
And men still speak in whispers of the day
When, attacked by twelve mosquitoes, with my one unwounded hand,
I killed nine of them and dove the rest away.

I have faced the housefly in his lair, I have stalked the ladybug
And the caterpillar, grim and fierce and hairy;
That trophy there is bumblebee, and this, my favourite rug,
Has been fashioned from the hide of a canary.

I have dove into the ocean to do combat with a shrimp,
I have dared the hen to come on out and fight;
I have battled with the butterfly (that's why I have this limp),
And I slew a monstrous grubworm just last night.

But this evening I must sally forth to meet the savage moth,
And if I don't come back in time for tea,
You shall know that I fell gallantly, as gallantly I fought
So please be gentle when you speak of me.

-- Shel Silverstein

_________________
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. ~Aesop~

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
~Robert Frost~


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 1:42 am 
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Joined: Thu Apr 13, 2006 12:31 pm
Posts: 56
Location: Chennai
Haha, that one's funny, Audrey.

Although I must point out that while it's humourous, it isn't nonsense.

_________________
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
-from Jabberwocky, by Lewis Carroll


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 1:37 pm 
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Joined: Wed Apr 05, 2006 8:44 pm
Posts: 707
Location: Canada
Yeah, i guess you are right. Sorry

_________________
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. ~Aesop~

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
~Robert Frost~


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 3:24 pm 
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Joined: Wed Dec 14, 2005 6:04 am
Posts: 958
Location: Belgium
There is some cool nonsense there, don't know the best anymore but I sure do remember this one:

Dark suckers

For years it was believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However, recent information has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs do not emit light, they suck dark. Thus we will now call these bulbs dark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a spokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has a mass heavier than light, and that dark is faster than light.

The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take for example the dark suckers in the room where you are. There is less dark right next to them than it is elsewhere. The larger the dark sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parking lot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with all things dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark they can no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full dark sucker.

A candle is a primitive dark sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You will notice that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark which has been sucked into it. If you hold a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, the tip will turn black because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle.

Unfortunately, today's primitive dark suckers have a very limited range. There are also portable dark suckers. These bulbs can't handle all of the dark themselves, and must be aided by a dark storage unit. When the dark storage unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable dark sucker can operate again.

Dark has mass. When dark goes into a dark sucker, friction from this mass generates heat. Thus it is not wise to touch an operating dark sucker. Candles present a special problem, as the dark must travel in the solid wick instead of through glass. This generates a great amount of heat. Thus it can be very dangerous to touch an operating candle.

Dark is also heavier than light. If you swim deeper and deeper, you notice it gets slowly darker and darker. When you reach approximately fifty feet, you are in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats to the top.

The immense power of the dark can be utilized to man's advantage. We can collect the dark that has settled to the bottom of lakes and push it through turbines which generates electricity and helps push dark to the ocean, where it may be safely stored. Prior to turbines, it was much more difficult to get dark from rivers and lakes to the ocean.

The Indians recognized this problem and tried to solve it. When on a river in a canoe traveling in the same direction as the flow of dark, they paddled slowly, so as not to stop the flow of dark, but when they traveled against the flow of dark, they paddled quickly so as to help the dark along its way.
Finally we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in an illuminated room in front of a closed, dark closet, then slowly open the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet, but since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.

In conclusion, it has been stated that dark suckers make our lives much easier, so the next time you look at an electric bulb, remember that it is indeed a dark sucker.
http://www.galactic-guide.com/articles

Unnil

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I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.


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