Quotations and Literature Forum

It is currently Wed Aug 20, 2014 11:21 pm

All times are UTC - 7 hours




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 7 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: My Dream Poem
PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 4:20 pm 
Offline
Member
Member

Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2005 7:25 am
Posts: 12
After tossing and turning for an hour or so,
I appeared in an empty apartment.
Inspired.
Running for the door.
I expected to be jerked back again by the chains attached to my ankles
and hurled into permission slips and chaperones.

Instead,
I bolted through the door.
And entered the bustling city streets
without a tour guide.

I began to drive.
Fly.
In my new car with the pavement rushing beneath my legs.
Eyes closed.
This world was promising
like the first five snowflakes on Sunday nights.
I was happy
like best friends and Chinese food.

And I was invisible
when I went grocery shopping and bought the apples that I like.
On the way home, I stopped at the playground,
just like I always wanted,
to sit on the swings
where the best air is grown.
Watch the sunset smile.

That is until the lights turn red.
And I am forced to crawl out of bed again.





--------

Do you see what I'm trying to say? Let me know. If you don't get any deeper message then just reveal if you like it...or not. I'm trying to figure out if I should take this whole writing thing seriously.
Thanks.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 2:55 pm 
Offline
Member
Member

Joined: Tue Apr 05, 2005 3:53 pm
Posts: 10
Location: Tennessee
:!: I loved it! It speaks out of remembrance and love for the simple things that one might've done with friends. A dream of some past time or something that you wished had've happened. Familiarity is abundant in this piece, and it had a perfect poetic ending. Props on it :)

_________________
"May truth be my sword, courage, my shield, and may love guide them both."
Motto of the Britannian Royal Guarde
~Govannon Mac Lyr of Chessapeake, Ultima Online


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 5:47 pm 
Offline
Member
Member

Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2005 7:25 am
Posts: 12
Hey, thanks man! Thats a great compliment. You made me smile. : - )


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 11:35 am 
Offline
Quote Guru
Quote Guru

Joined: Fri Nov 28, 2003 12:36 pm
Posts: 3610
Very interesting..........

_________________
Ishrat Noor Khan


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 4:41 pm 
Offline
Member
Member

Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2005 7:25 am
Posts: 12
Very interesting?
What do you mean?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Dream Poem Response
PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 7:16 pm 
Offline
New member
New member

Joined: Thu Apr 28, 2005 7:06 pm
Posts: 1
Location: Texas
I get the further meaning, and I really enjoyed your poem. It was really good. Keep up the good writing. :D

_________________
Always, Turtle


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Apr 29, 2005 12:03 pm 
Offline
New member
New member

Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2005 4:22 pm
Posts: 1
wonderfully innocent. it's definitely good enough to pursue it, but you seem overly concerned with what other people think about your work. i've been there. the only remedy is to press ahead and do it; write and keep writing, even if most of it isn't any good. hemmingway said he got one page of good stuff for every 90 pages of garbage. it is a good poem.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 7 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 7 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group