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 Post subject: A Very Short Story
PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2004 6:26 am 
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Joined: Fri Sep 10, 2004 8:37 am
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Location: Cleveland, Ohio
What do you think of this?

Two soldiers stand alone in a field painted in blood.
The two soldiers stare at one another with the fury and pains of war behind there eyes.
There is a strong silence between them for they know that on this field one of them must die.
But as they stand silent each soldier reflects on what they would be dieing for.
For King and country?For which they each swore protection.
No.
Will they die for the vengeance of there fallen comrades?
No.
Will they die for the sake of there own honor and pride?
No.
Will they die to be free of the pain that the war has brought them?
Or will they fight to live for the fear of the consequences of there sins against there fellow man?
One soldier with fear of death drew his sword against the other.
The other soldier stood silently, eyes closed, ready for his death, as the other soldier swung his blade.
But the blade never reached the body of the soldier, the death fearing soldier fell to the ground defeated, An arrow in his back.
It had seem that one other soldier had survived the battle.
He had saved the life of his fellow soldier.
But did he really save his life? didnt the soldier wish to die and be free of pain.
And didnt the fallen soldier desire life?
It had seemed that there fate had something more in store for them.
The death fearing soldier had fallen and was forced to face his sins.
The death accepting soldier had lived and was forced to live out his life in pain.
Was this odd twist of fate just?
Yes.

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 19, 2004 6:41 am 
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Location: the uk
i got a bit confused along the way, but i really like your ideas and your description at the begining. i've never read a short story like it before. you've got great writing style. really good!


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 28, 2004 9:42 pm 
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I found it very interesting, but I'm not quite sure what the message is exactly. Are you saying that the man wanting death didn't deserve to have the easier softer way out, that he had to make his ammends in the living world, and that the death fearing soldier was forced to face his sins wihout a chance to make them right, or just he couldn't run away from his sins? Or am I just getting this because of my own thoughts? Other than that and some incorrect usage of words like "there" when it should be "their", i found your writing style intriguing.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 24, 2005 12:14 am 
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I felt it drug a little in some parts.


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