Quotations and Literature Forum

This is one of those poems you write when you're not feeling so great about yourself, it is one devoid of rationality and is composed ruthlessly, not much of this has been edited since it was first penned.

Irrationality

"I find, then, I am but a bad" memory.
Grant me some kind of faith to hold to,
to cling to, as the Lord is your rock.
I am but the sand that gets washed away.
I wish for all the expression of existentialism
to cleanse this numbness for I am truly more lost
then ever Roquentin felt in this unworld of happiness.
Before there was an action, there was a feeling,
but if the problem is knowing how to feel,
then I am condemned to an apathetical existence.
But strip from me this conflict that rages,
is red to a bull and that lacerates my soul
with every metaphysical horse pulling in another way.
I am the shell of the long-since departed snail,
discarded not needed, never wanted anyway.
I am imbued with the logical skills of an inmate
with which I do wreak terrible vengeance upon this self.
I cannot breathe in this air, but I musn't blame
the atmosphere for this revolution of irrationality.
It's me, Semper eadum
I am the desire to my own destruction.

I'll answer any questions and welcome any suggestions. Thankyou.

-fish are quick!

_________________
"The proper study of mankind is man."
Alexander Pope

Grant,
A very warm welcome into QuotationsPage. I'm sure you'll like it here, very much. It's cosy.
About your poem:

I must say, you summed it up in your notes at the top:

This is one of those poems you write when you're not feeling so great about yourself, it is one devoid of rationality and is composed ruthlessly

You succesfully convey your emotions, which is what makes this, in my eyes, a masterpiece. Your careful selection of vocabulary hastes the poem in its greatness.

This poem makes me feel sad, very sad, and I feel as if I am feeling and breathing this emotion.

Your imagery deserves a whole essay on its own.

with every metaphysical horse pulling in another way

You describe the feeling so well! In this poem you convey your thoughts much to well, and this poem is bringing me close to tears. Thanks for this.

See ya around Grant.

Back for an Edit: I forgot to check what Semper Eadum meant. When I found out, I was closer to tears. Always the same.

Those two lines are really something:

It's me, Semper eadum
I am the desire to my own destruction.