Quotations and Literature Forum

Hi,

I have been trying desperately to find a quote about a CV or a Resume and the only one I have come across is the following:

"If you call failures experiments, you can put them in your resume and claim them as achievements."
- Mason Cooley

Does anyone else know of any others?

Thanks

You have been working for the same company for a few years and your work has become redundant. I have spoken to many people who have five years of experience on their resume, but what they really have is one year of experience repeated five times. If you have hit a plateau and you no longer are learning from repetition, or if the challenges of the role are few and far between, it is time to move on.
~ Joyce Brocaglia

Resume: "Accomplishing a goal is not as important as the person you become accomplishing it". (Author Unknown)

Resume for Oscar the Grouch
Objective: To maintain the grouchiest character on Sesame Street.
Experience
1970-1998 Sesame Street Public Broadcasting System
The Grouch
Lived in a garbage can.
Talked to Big Bird and Snuffalufagus.
Was a grouch to all the characters.
1966-1970 A local garbage junkie in an alley way.
Oscar
Perused local garbage collection sites scaring away various bums that were competing for his turf.
Met a large yellow bird who was traveling to New York City.
Interviewed at PBS for a spot on Sesame Street.
Education
Once a Grouch always a Grouch Anytime, Anyplace USA
Taught to be a grouch from a grouchy Mom and Dad.
Progressively became grouchier as time went by.
Interests
Being Crabby, being a jerk, and being unfriendly. Also likes to slam down his garbage can lid.
Oscar's fav. food is sardine and spinach sundaes.
His fav. drink is pickle juice.
His fav. pet is Slimey the Worm.
His best frind is Grungetta Grouch.
His fav. activitie is disagreeabable order of grouches meetings, writing for The Daily Grouch newspaper, reporting on WORM-TV.
His fav. vacation is two weeks at the Mudville City Dump.
His Fav. weather is cold and nasty, gray sky, and with occasional rain and sleet.
His pet peeve is cheerful people.
His fav. saying is "Have a yucky day."

Supposedly actual lines from resumes and cover letters
http://www.offshore-environment.com/takebreak.html

The ideal resume will turn up one day after the position is filled.
~one of “Murphey’s Laws”

"The only valid function of a resume is to get you invited for an interview. It is an advertisement to your skills, experience, and knowledge, presented in the most favorable light. "

--Arthur D. Rosenburg & David V. Hitzer
The Resume Handbook

If you know that the nature of the co. or boss you would be working for is a christian one Ora et Labora is a good quote it is in latin it means Pray and Work it was said by St. Benidict