Quotations and Literature Forum

does anyone know any clever funny quotes that i can use for a college animation. it needs to be something a business can use for advertising or on its web page. i'm so stuck on this one if anyone has any ideas they would be such a big help

Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

Me: Who are you and how did you get in here?
Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...

The weather forecast for tonight: Dark.

If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.

Is the glass half empty or half full? Neither, it is half full of liquid and its half full of air, thus the glass is full

When life hands you lemons, make grape-juice and let them wonder how you did it.

Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!

Don't you look at me in that tone of voice.

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I have a lot more if you want them, but here are a few to start off with. ^.^