Quotations and Literature Forum

I was suprised that you guys did not have any Jarod Kintz quotes. I submited one a couple hours ago, but he has lots of very funny stuff. I came across him online, and he has a new book out full of hilarious emails that he sent off to random companies. Can I submit my favorite emails from his book to this site as well?

jenn10ten ,
please do

Dear Disney Cruise Line,



I would very much like to go on one of your cruises, but I have certain accomodations that need to be made before I book my trip. I need a room large enough to comfortably fit a king-size bed, as well as a king (Juan Carlos of Spain).



Juan is afraid of people and will only come aboard incognito. He will be arriving in the costume of a small cat and answers to the pseudonym of "Mr. Fizzlebush." He will need his litter box changed daily, the finest dry cat food, and fourteen bottles of your finest champagne (he is royalty, after all). His Majesty Juan Carlos is not to be touched, but should he decide to lick a crew member's face, he or she will be expected to kneel and grovel at His Majesty's paws. I hope you won't turn your back on a royal customer.



We look forward to sailing with you soon.



Thank you,



Jarod kintz

I was just talking about this book. It's such a fun read and he's got such a wry and imaginative mind it's pretty refreshing. I also tried to submit a few of his quotes from his website, jarodkintz.com, and neither they, nor the Dave Barry quotes I submitted are showing up yet.